Thursday, July 28, 2011

Life today...

I've been working full time for about 6 weeks now.  I've had to adjust my brain to being away from the kids and Ryan for more than a couple of hours during the day. And let's just say, it's been an adjustment. It's been difficult on all of us. I miss my family. I feel like I'm missing out on important events. I miss their faces and their laughs. And they miss me. The best part of working is coming home. I can hear Cash upstairs standing at the gate, yelling "Maaaaa Maaaaaaaa" and Ella and Mase scrambling to hide, so they can scare me. I get big hugs and sweet kisses, unless they're sleeping, which is usually the case when I work a closing shift. I like feeling missed. I've never really felt that as a stay at home mom. I was never gone long enough to be missed. Every morning the kids ask "Do you work today?" When I respond with a reluctant ".....yes." I get tears and even bigger hugs. And I love it! It's horrible to say aloud but I love it. I always knew my children loved me and needed me around. But when you're home 24/7 with your kids and never have the opportunity to let them miss you, when you finally experience it, it's awesome! 
Moving on. Ryan and I have been spending less and less time together. It sucks. I miss him. We're still affectionate and loving but our time has diminished. We need more time. I know with three children, a new business and my full time job, that doesn't leave much time for us, so I guess I'll have to get creative and make time for us. Any suggestions?

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